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I, too, started roller skating (four wheels - Old School) and love it.
It is exciting, less boring than walking, and a great conversation starter. I am 61 and skate on a sidewalk circling a lake which is about one mile per lap. I am up to nine laps most days. I highly recommend that folks our age wear wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, and helmet. I've always been athletic and up to now never broken a bone or pulled anything. However, one week ago, my skate hit a piece of debris on the sidewalk and I did a SPLIT! Never was able to do that until now! I am recuperating from a torn
hamstring. Ouch!!! I just hope and pray that I don't lose my "edge" and love of skating while recuperating.

Holland is funny as hell but I doubt that cough is going to get any better. Crapshoot is right, but ...

Absolutely right!! I broke my 5th right metatarsal last october after a fall trail running. After the first 3 weeks or so, I was back on the eliptical trainer, then the spin bike and pump shortly after. I ran my first 10k race on the 26th December and have been running and pain-free since. Early rehab is the answer.....and motivation too!!

AL RULES!!

Good job.

I completely agree with you about the Armenian genocide, but I'm not sure I agree with how you handled the occasion.

My perspective is colored perhaps by the fact that my brother is married to a Turkish woman. At the wedding, which was held in Ankara, I met some wonderful Turkish people and was struck by the contrast between their evident warmth and hospitality and their general dogmatism with regard to topics such as Ataturk or the Armenian genocide, not to mention some attitudes that I would have to characterize as bigoted regarding other persecuted ethnic groups such as the Kurds.

Upon further reflection, however, I realized that these attitudes aren't much different from similar moral blinders that I see here in the United States with regard to our own country's rather long history of racial violence and militarism. I remember, for example, visiting Nicaragua shortly after the Sandinistas lost the 1990 elections and seeing a U.S. soldier in the airport wearing a T-shirt that said, "Marines: Fight with the best, die like the rest." I found that a remarkably insensitive statement in a country where tens of thousands of people had died during the previous decade as a result of the U.S.-sponsored contra war. We're not talking ancient history here. The contra war was the 1980s, much more recent than the Armenian genocide.

I don't want to just bash the U.S. This sort of thing probably happens everywhere. I remember a conversation I had a few years ago with a guy from Argentina who began by telling me he couldn't believe Americans were so stupid and morally blind as to believe the propaganda that accompanied the buildup to invading Iraq. As we were talking, though, he grew reflective and recalled that his own parents had been equally dogmatic and stubbon in defending Argentina's 1982 invasion of the Falkland Islands.

Regarding your confrontation with that Turkish impresario, I don't doubt that you were right and he was wrong about the Armenian genocide. However, it's always easy to see the other party's failings. The question, though, is whether confronting him did anything to change his thinking.

Chris, maybe the pack animals turn on the old ones BECAUSE they are grumpy and everyone gets tired of the old jerks growling and snarling at them all the time for no good reason. ( ; It can be entertaining for a while but it does get tiresome eventually.

I have found the best way to handle a situation such as you describe with the misinformed Turk (or rather brainwashed by his government, as we all are to some degree) is to question him with the attitude that you want to believe him only you just need him to clear up a few little details. "Oh wow, so Turkey did not kill all those Armennians! Who did?" "You don't know. Who do you think could have done it and what would be their reason?" "That's interesting, I wonder why the Armenians and other neutral eye witnesses would keep saying it was the Turks when they didn't do it, and let the real killers off the hook so easily for such an atrocity. What do you think?" And so you go on with your questions until the absurdity of his stance is self evident not only to everyone else listening but to him as well, whether he admits it or not. You get to make your point in a friendly way from which everyone can benefit.

Harry,

I am a Turkish-American. I love your book. I thank you every time I exercise. However, please leave history to historians. You have a one-sided view of facts. I really do not care to read your comments on politics. I look to the respected authorities such as Bernard Lewis, a consultant to the White House who says there were atrocities during World War I, that these happened on both sides, but that there was NO genocide. The population of Armenians at that time in Anatolia did not come close to the numbers being cited by so called genocide advocates.

Please: Stick to what you know, an area where you are incredibly good. I learned a lot from both you and Harry. YNY is one of the best books I have read in my lifetime, period. If you have further questions, why not consult Dr. Mehmet Oz, a Turkish-American himself.

Regards -

Todd

LOL
Chris, all of us get grouchy. I liked the section in YNY that described this phenomenon as we age; it made me laugh. My suggestion is that you print out what you wrote and re-read it often. Maybe scribble it in pen on your arm under your sleeve before leaving for dinner parties. Avoid grumpiness like the plague... etc. A little awareness can go a long way.

I'm 48 and I don't believe age is a factor my grumpiness yet. I would blame that girlish time of the month for my lapses. But I do find it helps immensely to REMEMBER that it is that time of the month. It really helps me get my perspective and realize that I am over-reacting and should probably pipe down.

All my best,
Sue

My wife and I are both approaching 65. I am frequently appalled by the stupidity, ignorance and arrogance of some people. When we leave a scene such as the one you experienced I will look at her and say is it just me or was that person a moron. She'll say yes that person was a moron- this is not just her humoring me as she will not hesitate to call me a moron when she feels it is necessary.
The man at your dinner party sounded like a pompous fool and a bit dangerous, and I think calling him on it was excellent. I think if more people in this country were not cowed into keeping silent we would be in better shape as a country than that which we find ourselves in now. I think that as you get older and have experienced so many events from start to finish you do see things more clearly and are less likely to suffer fools. I do understand about not allowing yourself to be grumpy all the time but I'm guessing you don't do that every night you go out to dinner. So I'm icnlined to say "goodonya". I promised myself I wouldn't be too wordy and I have been anyway so I will cease and desist.

Chris,

Thank you so much for this. I am an Armenian American woman who's parents were genocide survivors. When I read the exprssion in the women's book about "the starving Armenians", I was pissed as it seemed a bit glib. So yes it did occur and a million and a half Armenians were slaughtered. I am also a psychoanalyst who works with children and grandchildren of survivors. The genocide trauma and memory is still painfully alive. Denial can only lead to decay. And healing and growth for grumpy old men and women comes with working out not only the body, but the psyche and soul. Yes, let it rip.

Shake' named after my aunt who was raped and tortured by the Turks.

Love this article....and understand completely!

I'd call this the new attitude....of....hot boomers...explains my recent shocking behavior. Love your free attitude. Refreshing.

Thanks for all the great health information. Write more! It is inspiring.

That is an interesting theory about fight or flight. However, didn't God give our species another trait that woild more than compensate for this need to fight or run urge? Isn't the ability to use our minds to accommodate other people our greatest ability? To diffuse a potential problem or attack by engaging our minds and intellect strikes me as demonstration of our evolution. Perhaps the occurrence of increased hostility that you experienced, as well as your friend, represents a certain lack of desire of caring (in this case, to offend another individual). Yes, there was genocide and the counter argument is perposterous, but you knew that and you knew his protests were groundless. Why then did you not care enough about this individual, your host, your wife? This wasn't a case of fight or flight, but a case of selfishness? Something to think about. Oh, by the way, it was the lack of world condemnation of the Turkish government that encouraged Hilter in his "Final Solution".

As a Brit, also members of the EU, though not very chummy ones, I totally agree with your view on Turkey and the Armenian genocide. The thing is, Germany has said sorry, France and even the UK have said sorry for at least some of our earlier atrocities (though we usually try to avoid paying compensation to our victims). Any country that hasn’t yet realised and acknowledged that it has done terrible things in the past is in denial and not yet ready to join the 21st century, let alone the EU.

Back to our onions! Harry’s theories about herd animals chime in with an article in a recent ‘Nouvel Observateur’ magazine about animal thinking, which recounts how elephant grandmothers are extremely respected and valuable for the survival of the group because of their memories. They recognise the voices of other elephant groups, so that when another tribe approaches, as yet unseen, they know at once whether these are friend or foe. This enables their group either to take up defensive positions in good time, or to welcome the newcomers in a relaxed way. Getting ready to fight at each new sound would be an enormous waste of time and energy, so a group with really old grandmothers will flourish. By contrast, I’m afraid old male elephants are exiled from dinner parties and end their lives morosely alone.

However, I believe strongly that humans can CHOOSE (with a little help) to go against the grain of zoology, biology or whatever. Heavens, Chris, you live in the land of the self-help psychology book. You are already observing your feelings and behaviour – the battle is half or three quarters won. Whenever you decide you have had enough fun disrupting dinner parties and there are nicer things to feel than furious, you can – not, in my experience, altogether escape the feelings – but at least decide how much rein you want to give them. Why let a pompous fool take charge of YOUR feelings and ruin YOUR evening?

If you have enough self control to work out practically every day, you surely can also step back long enough to assess the situation, ration yourself to maybe one calm comment, and then leave the oaf to his ignorance.

HMMMM. A hand gernade at dinner. Yes the Turks have never accepted responsibility for the genocide of the the Armenians. And of course we should not forget the fact that Turkey illegally occupies a large percentage of the island of CYPRUS. They invaded that independent island years ago and never left. They confiscated property, destroyed Christian Orthodox Churches, and also murdered and captured Cypriot citizens who have never been heard of since.

Great JOB!

Chris,

Indeed, I believe the older one is, the more they become defensive quickly when it is against their belief, common sense, or pure knowledge about a specific topic and someone else is going against it or telling the fact wrong.

I don't think it is anything someone should work on, because it's natural and you can't go against nature. It would be best to work on accepting opinions, facts, theories, or whatever the case may be, instead of going immediately against it. Anything new is exactly that; new. It is better to listen and learn from others mistakes than constantly making your own mistakes or learning on your own.

Also, younger people are also to blame. Knowledge and wisedom comes easier with age in existance, and the Turkish fellow should know that. Proper communication is also key, things could have been said, taken wrong, which would create the "Fight or Flight" reaction emotionally which turns into physical reaction. But the fact of the matter is, the Turkish fellow should have also been careful with his words and pay attention to the others emossions to be sure not to conflict the conversation or unintentionally harm the other person in any way.

The best thing you could have done in your situation is actually what you did, if the fellow felt the need to constantly go against your words even though you absolutely know you're right, but you could have easily retired to a seperate room; or even a visit to the restroom to clear your mind. Maybe to even ask the host to show you around, or to a specific spot where you're at.

I don't know all the details, so I can't exactly get all of my thoughts together. I was just working on the programming and decided to read this article.